got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize