I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
