I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
