okay pat passed out under dana's car
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
