I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
