I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
