Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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