Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
the day after is always just damage control
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
