either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
