Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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