Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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