I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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