You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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