i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
