Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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