my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
