We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
