Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
