Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
