I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
