if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
