I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
