I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
