I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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