You're completely useless in the revolution.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Randomize
