community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
