so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
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