I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
