My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
