We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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