Fuck appropriateness.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
