So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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