I think I won the penis lottery.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
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