Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
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