don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
