I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
