Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
