im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Randomize
