you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
