ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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