are you so shy because you have an std?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
You dont lie about slip and slides
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
