At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
