guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
