so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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