Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
