the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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