...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
