Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
