I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
