so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
