omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
operation have a gay friend backfired
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
