My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
