i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
