Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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