please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Randomize
