3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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